If you want to be happy in life, you will eventually have to choose between rejection and acceptance.
Many people are unhappy in their lives. They don’t like their jobs, spouses, friends, cars, homes, clothes, incomes, etc. Most of us just live with it. We are usually always pining for something more. We spend half of our day thinking about the future and how we can make things better. Then we spend the other half wishing it would just get better because we don’t really know what to do about it.
I say you eventually will have to make a decision. Accept it or reject it.
Rejection is simple. Quit your job, get a divorce, start a home business, make new friends, sell your car, etc. Rejection is also hard. It takes a huge leap to do something like this. There are some things that are way easier to change than others. If you’re overweight, you can throw out the junk food and start eating healthy. That’s a pretty easy one. If you hate your job, you can quit and move to Thailand. That’s a pretty hard one. It’s doable, but it takes commitment.
Rejection is important though. You have to learn to fight back and do things for yourself. It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as wearing purple socks on Wednesdays or as complex as becoming a traveling shoe salesman. The point is consciously doing it. You have to make the decision for yourself in order to be happy.
Rejection is deciding that the way you have been doing things and the way your life is going is unsatisfactory and you are going to change it. Rejection is not fighting against people and quitting things just because. That is being a rebel. You can be a rebel and enjoy that lifestyle, but then you are just accepting the rebel lifestyle.
It would be rare to find a person who is completely happy with their entire life and doesn’t have anything he or she would like to change. At least not until they have rejected some things and accepted others.
Stop doing things because you feel you “have to”. You don’t actually have to do anything. You can sit on your ass for the rest of your life and do nothing, but don’t do it out of laziness, do it because that’s what you want to do. The movie Office Space is great because the main character decides that he just doesn’t want to do anything anymore, just sit around, go fishing, and watch TV. He doesn’t want to change the world or start a business. He just wants to do nothing and is fine with that.
That is acceptance. Realizing that you are absolutely happy with what you are doing, regardless of what it might be. So quit your job if that’ll do it for you, but if you decide to keep it, you have to consciously decide that you want to.
Acceptance isn’t just accepting that you hate your job and will always hate it and living out your days in misery. Acceptance is finding a balance in life and finding the small things that you like about it. It’s realizing that no matter what you change, you have to accept life as it is and be happy. Acceptance is realizing that your house isn’t all that great, but you like it. It’s knowing that your job is really boring, but it allows you do to the things you enjoy.
Acceptance is the more difficult idea to understand though. It isn’t just putting up with your crappy job and your annoying spouse. It’s actually making the decision that the current situation you are in is the one you want to be in and enjoying it.
You have to consciously make that decision though. Too many people are just “okay” with the way things are. Yet, they constantly complain about how they want more money or a nicer house or a new car. That is not acceptance. That is just getting by. That is suffering through something. You don’t want to do that.
Acceptance is a great feeling. It allows you to actually live in the moment and stop worrying about something. When was the last time you did that? Probably at a time that you were really busy doing something you loved. It’s when you realize that there is nothing more important than what you are doing right this moment.
Make a decision
If you truly want to be happy you have to get to a point in your life where you can just accept things as they are and be happy. You have to combine the two. You must reject the things you don’t like in your life so that the only things that are left are things you choose to accept. It’s all about the conscious decision though.
An easy way to do this is to make a list of all the things in your life that you like and all the things you dislike. The likes are easy. You just have to decide that you like them enough not to change them. Then next to each of the dislikes, write down how to change it. Those are the changes that you need to make. Once the changes are made though, you have to enjoy yourself.
That is really the main point I’m here to make. You just have to make the decision and run with it. That is the key. Nothing matters in the end, but your own state of happiness. If you don’t like something, you have to stop doing it. You have to stop putting up with things. You will get nowhere in life if that is your attitude.
You have to stop worrying, complaining, and hating your life. You have to decide that there are things you want to change and things you don’t want to change. Then actually make the changes.
A person’s ideal life is finding a balance between the two. The big thing is that you have to make the choice. Accept it or reject it. If you don’t make the choice you will always be unhappy.