Talk to Everyone

Welcome MDA readers.  I’m just getting my blog started, but have lots of ideas for things to come.  I plan to focus a lot on how to thrive mentally and physically in an office environment.  Obviously, going paleo was a big part of this and I’ll write quite a bit about that. 

So if you work in an office or just feel like reading about it, stick around or add me to your rss reader.

And if you aren’t from MDA and have no idea what I’m talking about, I was featured in a “Reader Success Story” on MarksDailyApple.com.

I used to sit in my cubicle for around 8 hours a day.  On a normal day, I’d talk to my boss and maybe one other co-worker.  Even then, I’d probably only spend a good 20 minutes a day socializing.

This was killing me.  Humans are a social species and are not meant to spend long hours alone.  In prison they punish people by sending them to solitary confinement.  Isolation will drive us crazy.

It’s weird to think that I was surrounded by people and yet I’d never talked to most of them.  I didn’t even know that many people’s names.

I had to do something.  I decided to talk to as many people as I could every day.  It is hard at first.  You really have to go out of your way to do it.  Most people are exactly the same as you and I, they don’t talk to others.  They don’t even realize that it’s driving them insane.

It’s amazing how isolation makes people feel terrible.  I think this is a huge reason that cubicle jobs are slowly killing us.  We don’t talk to others.  We are surrounded by people that we barely know and rarely talk to.  It is even worse if we don’t have a lot of friends and a social life outside of work.  We can go for days on end with minimal social interaction.

My plan now is to talk to everyone.  Chat with a co-worker for five minutes on your way back to your desk.  Say hi to everyone you see in the hallways.  Talk to anybody you run into in the break room.  Make small talk with the barista.  Say high to your bus driver.  Learn the names of the janitors and security guards.

Reasons to talk to everyone:

You’ll make more friends in the office – The more people you know the better.  Most of the time life is just a big popularity contest.  When it comes time for a promotion, a better view of the window or even an invite to a group lunch, the talkative guy/girl will be the one who they think of.

You’ll learn more about your co-workers – And possibly find that you have a lot in common.  You might find out that you and your co-worker both love to play basketball, but haven’t played in years.  This could develop into a weekly one on one game.

You’ll feel all around happier – We are social creatures.  We feel better when we talk to others.

You’ll spend time away from the cube – The cube is a cage, stay out of it as long as possible every day.

This isn’t the easiest thing to do though.  A lot of us are stuck in our ways and very shy around others.  I know I was.

Some easy ways to get started:

 

Ask questions – If you see someone wearing a new shirt, ask them about it.  If you know Steve in the next cube has two kids who play soccer, ask them about it.  If you know someone is going on vacation, ask them about it.  This is the easiest way to start a conversation and keep it going.

Remember that people like to talk about themselves.  If you listen and ask them questions, they’ll tell you more than you ever needed to know.  Most people are just dying to tell someone about the things going on in their lives.  Read The Art of Conversation:  How to avoid conversational narcissim .

 

Ask for advice – Ask for help or an opinion on a work related matter.  Most people are willing to help you out and happy to give advice.

Talk about the weather – Yes I know it’s cliché, but there’s a reason for that.  People love talking about the weather.  Especially if you live in a place where it changes often.

Talk about sports – Cliché again, but it works.

The big thing is to just initiate conversation with others.  Most people are dying to talk about something, they just need someone to show some interest.

Any other ideas on how to be more social at work?

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  1. #1 by Timothy on May 27, 2011 - 4:54 pm

    Great blog! Even though it’s new, there are already some great ideas on here.

    Socializing is definitely one way to stop the soul-suction. One way that’s worked for me is to attend gatherings outside the office. If you’re lucky, your company will already sponsor these once in a while; if not, you may have to do the organizing yourself.

    It’s admittedly a pain if you’re not the social-butterfly type, and often it feels like the last thing we want to do on a Friday is spend more time with the people we just spent 40+ hours with. But I guarantee you’ll see a completely different, and much more human, side of your coworkers when you catch them away from the office. I have had highly memorable, mind-blowing conversations outside the office with people I barely ever talked to while on the job.

    • #2 by survivingthecubicle on May 27, 2011 - 9:31 pm

      Thank you!

      I’m happy to be started on this. I’ve been working on content for awhile, but it’s nice to finally have some readers.

      Talking to people is huge. It’s amazing how quiet the office can be. People shut down when they aren’t social.

      Have a good one and stick around!

  2. #3 by nklsweets on May 27, 2011 - 6:44 pm

    Great post! I try to get up and walk around as much as possible, the thought of sitting at my desk all day makes me stir-crazy. We were not meant to spend all of our time stuck in 3 1/2 walled little boxes!

    • #4 by survivingthecubicle on May 27, 2011 - 9:32 pm

      Thanks! I have a good post about spending less time sitting coming up soon. Stick around!

  3. #5 by Wayland on May 28, 2011 - 1:00 am

    Seriously man, if you have a lot to write then don’t stop writing. If you plan on turning it into a book then do it because this is good stuff man.

  4. #7 by Dan on May 28, 2011 - 2:52 pm

    I find the same to be true. However, like spending time on social networking sites, socializing at work is commonly seen as inefficiency by management. If I were paying the wages, I wouldn’t want my work force “wasting” potentially productive time with small talk. Of course, happy workers are more productive, so maybe it’s a wash in some cases.

  5. #8 by Shebeeste on May 28, 2011 - 3:45 pm

    I hear ya, but I’ve been trained to feel a little nervous when chatting–“time to talk, time to stock”, “time to lean, time to clean”. Also, I’m easily distractable and I get a lot more work done if I don’t socialize too much. I do have coworkers with whom I have more in common than others, so I try to make an effort to make small talk with the others–one person in particular always seems to feel left out and things go more smoothly if she feels she is being included. On the other hand, my boss is the worst offender when it comes to wasting time–I wouldn’t mind so much but she only talks about herself and I can’t escape! So I find the socializing thing a delicate balance–it’s not one’s job to reassure your coworkers with communication issues and insecurity–learning how to set boundaries is very important, but it also can grease the wheels for a more pleasant workday.

    I find it is more important to me to Get Out of the Damn Building. I have made it a habit to go outside and walk around on breaks and lunch, rain or shine–I am so much happier generally and I’m much more able to keep my perspective about my job instead of hating it.

  1. The 7 step guide to never multi-task again « Surviving the Cubicle
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